April 08

Jagroop’s Wedding

Parts of this post were missing when I originally published it so I have done it again.

Last week we spent the week in Madu Chhanga attending Jagroop’s village wedding, it was SO MUCH FUN and went for 3 – 4 days.. Jagroop is Jaskarans cousin (their Dad’s are brothers) all three brothers of his Dad live next door to each other in the one lane way about 300m from Jaskarans house so we spent the weeks walking from house to house for different events and home to change and back to party etc. Jagroop is not related to Happy so his family were not invited we were only invited as Happy is close friends with him. It was a love marriage (not arranged), they had been together in secret for a year and finally told their parents, his parents were not happy at first but agreed that if it will make him happy it is fine with them, her family were not as easy and were still not happy about it on the wedding day and had no celebration at all they just attended the ceremony in the temple and had us over one night.

We arrived on the Sunday and that afternoon I went to town with Didi & Palvi where they got their faces and necks bleached !!! So strange!!! I assured them I was white enough and didn’t need it done, they had 1 hour facials each while I sat back eating a burger.











When that was finished Jagroop sat on a chair outside and everyone took turns having their photo taken standing behind him and giving him gifts and money, there was a line of people waiting and all his immediate family & aunties/uncles gave him gold rings, chains, bracelets and a watch whereas all other family members just gave him cash and placed it in his lap.



Late in the afternoon we all went home and changed and then came back and all went together in cars to the brides village to take her gifts – the new suits plus gold bangles necklaces and a big case of makeup and a big basket of fruit carried in on someone’s head. When we arrived her family gave us tea and pakoras and we sat in a room waiting until she was ready






I noticed we didn’t mingle with her family at all no one spoke really they just did the ceremony we ate and left!

We then went back to Jagroops house and I showed them all the photos and everyone was saying how beautiful his new wife is etc and then that night the tent had been taken down and they had a DJ and we ate and drank and danced all night long!





The next morning we were up at 7am and at jagroops house for the ceremony where we put tumeric paste all over his face and arms and mustard oil in his hair, we tied a bracelet on him and he tied them on all of us girls to ward off bad luck and leave his single life behind!










I fell in a massive puddle of mud and had one inch thick mud on my shoe and splattered up my leg!!! Happy Jaskaran & I were in fits of laughter because I have an accident of some kind every single day, then Jaskarans sister started telling me off saying I need to be more careful, some days she is so bossy!! I snapped back at her saying I am not the bride so don’t worry and accidents happen get used to it! I put her right back in her place and she didn’t tell me off once the rest of the day!!

We then piled into cars (some cars had 10-15 people in them) and headed off for the Gurdwara temple for the ceremony, not everyone came as some men had been drinking and would not be allowed inside. The girls family all sat on one side and we sat behind the couple in the middle. I don’t have any photos of the ceremony.









Next stop was the brides house, we loaded her 3 suitcases of belongings into the cars and her whole family were in tears saying goodbye to her, as we left she threw rice over her head, it was a very emotional part of the day! Didi was in tears and I said to her why are you crying we are the ones taking her then she was in fits of laughter and crying at the same time!! Jaskaran said to her you are a mess go outside and wait in the car!!! He tells her off all the time and we always just laugh!





When we arrived home Jagroops dad had to pay money to the boys to unlock the car to let the new bride out, it was a traditional way of welcoming her and they were bargaining a price and everyone was laughing and then they got out and the drums were playing as they entered the house and she was given her first glass of the family buffalo milk to drink.



We all took turns sitting on the bed with them and feeding them sweets in her new room. for the rest of the night the bride stayed in the room with around 10 girls at a time keeping her company who were all chatting and laughing, I felt sorry for her because she kept crying and barely said one single word and just sat looking down, it must have been so overwhelming for her, I said to one of the girls maybe she needs some space and she just said no this is India they don’t do space haha! Yeah and dont I know it!!! Haha



Happy & Jaskaran going wild as usual, they danced all night for at least 4 hours without a break! They were loving life thats for sure!! At midnight Didi and I were both tired so we walked home down the lane and as we went around the corner I slipped on mud again and went flying sliding through it, she caught my arm and then we were both bent over in tears laughing. We got to the house and she pulls out of the fridge two massive pieces of wedding cake, we devoured it then had tea and went to bed!!





The next morning Happy & Jaskaran went off to do some farm work because Jaskaran was behind a few days due to all the wedding events! I got ready and went with Didi to Jagroops house again, we had tea and they had a sheman dancer and drums playing for a few grandmas and aunties sitting around, I was a bit confused about it but Didi said it was traditional on the last day.



We then went with Jagroop and his wife, his mum and aunties and sisters to the temple in Madu Chhanga – their local Gurdwara so the Baba Ji could perform a ceremony similar to their wedding ceremony. When I was sat there I thought to myself where am I and why am I attending this ceremony and Happy hasnt bothered to?? But that is just Didi, she always makes sure no matter what that I am included in every possible thing and always makes me feel like I am a part of the family which is nice. On the way home walking through lanes and alleys from the temple we turned around to find 10 kids following us and giggling saying gori gori gori (white person), Didi turned around and said one line to them that I didn’t understand and suddenly they all disappeared!

When we got back to Jagroops his mum brought a bowl of milk water and rose petals and the couple sat and took turns trying to untie each others bracelets the families had put on the day before then they had to drop them into the milk and find then again as well as some coins and it was a race to who could get it all first!




Jagroops brother Aman then sat on her knee and they had to give each other money



At this point my chair collapsed and I fell straight through it onto the floor and everyone erupted into laughter SO EMBARASSING!

That was the conclusion of the wedding ceremonies and Didi and I went home and had a nap, it was nice to relax after a few days being so busy!